22 December 2006
	THE PLACE TO BE OR NOT TO BE When Jozi gets dozy By Nicky Smith

Staying home for the December holidays is sometimes an economic decision, or one that is informed by last year's family fiasco. But staying in Johannesburg for the break may just demonstrate common sense and good taste. In the days leading up to Christmas and after New Year, living in Jo'burg is bit like living in Pretoria - except that it's better. There are fewer moustaches (on the women as well), the temperatures are cooler and, well... it's not Pretoria. Jo'burg becomes a slower, gentler place where children ride bicycles in suburban streets, and where shoppers make eye contact with each other as if they're about to say: "Hi. How is Susan?" Jo'burg is a shopper's paradise. You can buy almost anything, from swank cars to black market kidneys. And you don't have to deal with the unrelenting human crush while doing your shopping. JO'BURG Where At home Identity 1950s platteland With most residents in Plett, Knysna or Slaapstad, there is a lot less traffic on the roads. You don't have to agonise about driving to Fourways to see the nice knick-knack shops and buying something you absolutely don't need. In fact, if you really wanted to you could probably get up on a Monday at 7.15 am and drive through Gillooly's Interchange, en route to O R Tambo airport, first one way and then the other. In about 10 minutes. Yes. Crazy. There is also loads of parking. Restaurants are less crowded and even the poor service is worth a bigger tip. Be warned, though, finding a place for Christmas lunch is not for those prone to feeling sentimental about traditional holidays. Picture the street where you sometimes go to have a beer or sushi fix... The one I'm thinking of is Seventh Avenue, Melville. Now minus the cars, the restaurant-goers, the wire-sellers, beggars and, of course, the car guards. Where are you? Yup. De Aar. It's very trippy. And then there is the weather: neither too hot nor too cold. And when the temperature hits 31°C, you can experience the thrill of a thunder storm during your afternoon nap. If all of this is not enough for you, then you can enjoy the fact that you're not standing in a hell queue hoping for a table at some crowded, overpriced restaurant wondering whether your unpleasant neighbours are shouting encouragement at the bobbing torchlight in your sitting room. With this hard sell, I'm in town for the holidays, right? Wrong. I skipped last year's family fiasco. It's time for another shot of conditional love.